eating disorders are so insidious.
one moment, things feel empowering. and then you eat “too much” chocolate with your boyfriend and BAM you want to restrict again. but you don’t. but the thoughts are still there. then you’re like, “i had a lot of carbs for breakfast, i could just have a salad for lunch.” but you don’t.
you’re in the shower, and it feels like you gained 8435283 pounds in a week. you want to go on a run. but you don’t. you realize that hanging out with other people means eating ~different~ foods and eating at different times. you want to isolate. but you don’t. you have a margarita on a friday night. you want to “compensate,” since alcohol calories don’t count towards your meal plan. but you don’t.
you don’t. sometimes you wish you could. but you don’t.
embracingwild